Whatz this?

For the past 2 nights, I have been counting sheep, tossing and turning in my bed, checking up on our son over and over again. When I awake in the mornings, I dont feel tired neither do I feel rested, just dazed. I'm assuring myself everything's normal, but I don't feel that way. My heart says something else. I am unable to intercept my heart's words. What is it that is bothering me, what is it that I am being scared of, what is it that is eating me up from the inside? I have yet to find out the answers to these questions. Will I ever be able to solve this issue in my heart and mind, will I ever get out of this? I dont know, I want to know, I will know. Am I fearing something? Am I missing something or someone? There are so many questions that need answering for me, maybe I'm not even aware of some inquiries. Does this happen to everyone, do everyone go through this kind of an ordeal, or is it just me? This has not happened to me before. Am I going crazy or am I getting old? Do I see a midlife crisis coming? I am lost in this maze called 'life', where everything is a haze. Will I ever find the way out? I am sad, I am annoyed, I am lost, I want to scream my lungs out and tell myself that I am alright. I want to go back in time to when I was a kid, safe and secure with my parents, I want to be a child again for sometime!